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BARNSTABX.E PATRIOT.
ruai.isHEi ) r.v r.nv Wedn esda y mohnix g ,
"ME DOOR EAST OF TIIK rnST U M ' i r K
*NI> 1XIIKCTI.Y n r r o H T F . TIIK
Ce < roc ky Jtrnnd ,
Dear the prairicd West.
111.
By our altars pure und free ,
By our Law 's deep-routed tre e,
By the past 's dread memory ,
I
ly our WASHIN GTON;
By our common parent ton gue ,
By our hopes , bri ght , buo yant , young,
By the tit1 ol Country »tionp--
Wc will still be ONE.
IV.
I
'itthfr t \ have ye bled in vain '
A ges ! muM ve droop iigain '
MAKK U ! shall we rushl y stain
l
iletKH ^a srut by THICK ?
No ! receive our iolemn vow ,
While before th y tin one we bow ,
Kven to maintain , as now , i
" I'NION — l.ll ir.HTV ! '"
M I S C E L L A N Y .
FAMK A N D P OPULAR ITV.
Fame is a vapour ;popularity is the sha-
dow of a vapour. Fame is a voice, po p-
ularity is tlie echo of a voice Fame lias
an existence which may be contemp late d,
a duration which m:iy be thought of; it
may calculate on living fur a few months ;
hut popularity knows nothing of the fu-
ture tense,and before tin: word can be
pronounced the thing is gone Popular-
ity is a soap-bubble,raised by a breath
and bursting in the undulation of a breeze.
Its very being is so attenuated thai it is
simpl
y a negation of non-existence. We
almost doubt when we say, it is ; we
make an effort of recollection to say it
has been. It has the substance of an a-
tom,and the duration of a point of time.
A n ephemeris that is born at sunrise and
dies of old age in six hours, may outlive
it and forget it. Fame, which is poeti-
cally describedas " a fancied life in other's
breath,
" has substance,duration, impor-
tance,i
mmortality, compared with pop-
ularity ;which comes on the ear like the
doubtful breezes of n summer eve,
inaudi-
ble when listened to. Fame is the guerdon
of high enterprise,the reward of toil, the
crown of intellectual or moral greatness ;
popularity may be had by heads without
brains,heart without feeling,tongues with-
out eloquence. There is no sport in the
world more easy than mob-catching; but
there is no labour so great as to keep it
when it is caught. For the evanescence
of popularity there can be no metaphors ;
all similes fail when they approach it. Slip-
pery as an eel is, it may be sometimes
held by the hand that catch-s it. Fickle
as the wind is, it sometimes lets the
weathercock remain ten minutes in one
direction. But where have we a hold on
popularity, and who can for a moment
•ay " 'Tis mine ?" It vanishes at the
turning of a corner , and is gone like
our shadow beneath the flitting clouds of
an A pril day.
If the materials could be collected, it
might repay the toil of him who should
construct and compile the annals of pop-
ularity. It would be a lugubrious task
;at first,prehaps,to comtemplate the weak-
ness & fickleness of humanity ;but the ra-
pid repetition of groans would have in it
something of the ludicrous. It would
be a task full of instruction to go over
the catalouge of mob idols,and to look
at the giant steps by which each mounted
to bis elevation,and to observe the bluff
preci
pice of oblivion and contempt down
which the mob has ruthlessly pushed the
object of its idolatry. Fame is a l
ight
that burv< out ;popularity is a l
ight that
is puffed out. Oh ignominious end !—
Long before Dr. \\ olcot died , he used to
lament to his friends that he had outlived
himself. His popularity was buried in
a grave of oblivion,and lie was chief,and
perhaps only mour ner. Ami w hat is a
man of bygone popularity like ? iMav he
not see his likeness in he cast-otl' finery
of Monniouth-Mreet ? Is he not like tin
cause of a burnt-out squib,or the stick ol
discharged sky-rocket ? Is he Hot like a
empty bottle ,or a sucke d orange, or tin
skeleto n of a ttirbot r Dues he not resetiv
ble the dinner-table when the iruesls arc
d-parleil,or the solitary twinkling of a
morning la mp, the last survivor of a
brilliant illumination '
: Popularity is a
species of borrowed plumage and hired
sp lendor ; it is lent for a few hours, and
t he popular man i.s merely a tenant <'>t
will ; and ,oh how ruthles>ly are the bor-
rowed feathers plucked away, and how
remorselessly is all the liiiery stri pped
off ! There is no surer road to oblivion
than tin- high roa d to popularity ;for the
public seems to have a kind of sentiment
of its own incapacity of j udgement ,mid
atones for the intem perate iiij ndiciousness
of its applause by as intemperate injudi-
ciousness ol censure or neglect. It grows
.iit
jit v with itself for its own idolatry, und
then (lies off in a tangent to an opposite
extreme. Hut there is no such thing us
making the public blush for its absurd-
ities ,anil it thinks that it has amply com-
pensate d for an absurdity in one direct-
ion by co mitting j ust such another in an
opposite direction. Yet ,not withstanding
nil this , popularity is sought after and its
majesty, the mob,has the satis faction of
seeing unnumbered .
suitors at ils levee,
ready to take (he vacant pedestal from
which ,in ils soverei gn will and wisdom ,
it lias rudely kicked it s idol of the hour.
Talk of the flattery poured by hungry
courtiers into the ear ol place-giving
princes ;wh y, it is nothing compared to
ihe adulaiiou with which the cormorants
of popularity dirndl the undiseei nin\!
mob. When one politician sacrifices his
piinci ples to his prince , there are five
bundled who surrender their understaii -
ding to the mob. Wheve pe n pays crafty
court to the great ,there are five hundred
that are ready to play all manner of an-
t ics and scrawl every .
species of clap trap
to catch a slta v vvhill' of the aura pup-
ularis. An d of the countless »oi dinant
instructed of the public ! If a man has a
notion of insignficance,and is not quite
sure that he is insig nificant , let him be-
come popular , and then, when he has
ceased to be so ,he will have a sweet .sen-
satio n of insignificance indeed ;and then
he may say with Cardinal Wolsey —
Vain pomp und gluty of the world I hnlr you.
[London Allan.]
TIIK T OOTH ACHE.
i
n i
i . I i.i : - i -
W e recollect that when laboring unilei
a fit of the blues sorneyeai s since we rash-
ly mingled with a large circle of our ac-
quaintance at an evening party ;a friend
casually remarked the portentous longi-
tude of our countenance , and exclaimed
" Good Heavens ! my dea r fellow , what
is the matter ? Are you troubled with the
tooth ache r" That fatal word was the
signal for a general attack. I
t was echo-
ed and re-echoed from all parts of the
room,with three notes of admiration ap-
pended to it. Before we could enter) into
any exp lanation ,we were surrounded by
some dozens of officious friends of both
sexes ; each strong ly re commending a
favorite remedy,as prompt ,
pleasant and
effectual.
" Here,
" exclaimed Miss Thompson,
pulling out u small phial from her reticule
" is some oil of ' Cloven, sat urate u little
cotton with it ,and carefully put it i
n the
hollow of the tooth,ami" •
'' It is not half so good us opium"
screamed Miss Johnson,nil elderly maid-
en lady, at the same time thrusting to-
wards us a piece of opium about the size
of a pea :" opium acts us a sedative , it
lulls the pain" .
" I
've tried them both frequently," said
Mrs. Jiickson ,' and never knew any good
result from either. The only sure cure
for the tooth ache is a large, blister appli-
ed behind the ear ;dress it three days in
succession with Uasilicon tind Canthar-
ides"
She was interrupted by little Miss
Dickson— " Did you say you never knew
any od result fnim i) tlivr ? F.lher is
the iiest remedy in the world—mix it with
a little Spirits ofNitre, und "
I'ish !
" said very ungallantl y a gentle-
man present.—" (Jive me n knitting
needle —I will heat it red hot , «iul then
sear the nerve. 1 engage that tlie. tooth
shall ne ver trouble him again."
" Scoop out the nerve with n sharp
pointe d pen knife—That is a belter rein-
ed\ "—muttered Mr. Smith.
" Dear me,
" exclai med old Mrs,Peter-
son ,holding up her hands , " would you
commit murder and suicide at once ? The
best remedy for tin.
' tooth nche i
.
s a poul-
tice made of onions,milk,and horse rad-
:
. I
. "
IMI ^
^
^
^
^
^
^
" Fill vour mouth with Cayenne Vep-
per and lirandi/, " shouted Mr. drown.
Try the application of cold «ct'i7
,
" said
a would-be wag,
" Put some red hot ashi's in a piece ol
paper ,ami hold it to your cheek ,
" said
Miss Simpson.
Or bat he it with New Eng land Rum ,'1'
added Mrs. Wilson
Opatkldoc is better,
" said Mrs. Wat
son .
" No !
" exclai med Miss. 'Nelson- —'-
" Tak e a half a sheet of paper—rofl " il
up—and after setting fire to one end,pul
the other end on the table—let it burn
gradually, aud by lliis mean;)you get some
nice oil (if paper , wh ich i.s a .sovereign—
" Oil of fiddlestick !I
f he has any nerve
let him try a lew drops of oil oj ij 'ttriol
"
said Mr. Jarvis.
A medical practitioner ,Ivlio was pres-
ent ,and who began instinctively to feel in
his pockets at tin1 mej ition of the. word
toothache , listene d to tliese. remarks with
unequivocal .
signs of impatience. As soon
us he could obtain a hearing he exclaimed
assuming a dictatorial [one anil manner :
" Nonsense ! my experience teaches
me,that of all the various remedies you
pro pose ,not one is effectual ; they may
perhaps produce a temporary alleviation
i)f pain ,which will afterwards return with
redoubled violence.—There is but one
method of curing the toothache ex-
traction." Say ing which, to my great
dismay, he brandished his tooth drawing
inst rument hijjh in the air. Some of our
kind friends seemed about to second his
effoits in the cause of suffering huirianity.
It was a try ing moment. We saw the
danger of our situation, and making a
desperate effort,burst through the tlirong
of our tormentors , snatched up our hat ,
and rushed out of the house. "Nor did we
stop until we reached our own apartment ,
when overcome with fright and fatigue,
we threw onmeIf qn the bed,after having
securely fastened the doors.
— Exeter
{Vews Leuer.*
r
^
.
Cholera.—-Indian or Spasmodic Chole,
.
ra,is u plague ,
-op |iiodern origin. This
disease is in it# principal symptoms al-
together unlike the- Kwpi
i sh Cholera , yet
many persons not acjj^Hted with (he na-
ture of both #pecies naltf. confounded
them. Jn Hiridostan,Spasnyulic Chole-
ra halMftbubl y always existed as a coin-
pikCjJvT
ry mild climatic diseasV,affecting
at eYilain seasons of the year a small
number of individuals in various parts of
the country. The opinion is countenanc-
ed by Hindoo authority. Hut there is no
evidence to snow that it ever bore the
epidemic character until the year J8J7,
unless we admit the statements of Mr.
Scott , who considered the cases that oc-
curred Inwards the close of the last cen-
tury sufficientl
y numerous,
and the sweep
of count ry travelled by the malady suffi-
ciently large to warrant the, conclusion.
However , iliis question may be disposed
of it is at least certain that the Indian
Cholera was not entitled to be classed
with pestilential scourges of tile worttt
descri ption,previous to the beginning of
August, 1817, when it suddenly broke
out with unprecedented malignity.—Eng-
lishman 's Magazine.
Lliza Mears was sent to prison yrsler
day ,having stolen 9.0 sovereigns from b'i
husband ,the place of which sh' vpph'd
with counterfeit coin. The robbery waa
fortunately discovered in time by the lius-
bnnd,who,.»t the smile time, beenme a-
wiirc that his property had been taken
nwny from hini by his wife,
to enable her
to run nvvtiy with a particular friend of
her own.—Bostonp aptr.
ltorcnio Dow. Kvcry body haiheard
of the celebrated Lorenzo Dow ,that boii-
terous, eccentric , course, long-brardeil
itinerant preacher,who hai travelled k-
hout the country these forty yeori,ha-
ranguing the people mid drawing multitu-
des after him wherever he goes. Me it
skilled to perfection in nil Sorts of contri-
vance* by which to chain down his hear-
ers to his long-winded sermons. He car-
ries his rude expressions ntul sinrrulur
contortions of countenance to such n pitch
as often to excite risibility in the most de-
vout ,while at tile sanle tinte he fasten!
the attention of the most stupid :n whole
congregation is frequently convulsed with
Imip
jlie r by sonic of his odd phrases.—'
The following was related to us by u gen-
tleman who was present on thu occasion^
and assured us thul he never saw u con-
gregution more quiet during tt sermon i
l
l
bis life.
About two thousand per9ons were oi-
sembled together in n large meeting-house
in u village not twenty miles fromIJoitom
Old Lorenzo,wrapped up in a hull'
-worn
green baize blanket, entered, nml after
much elbowing through (lie crowd,suc-
ceeded in ascending tile pulpit stu
i
n,and
a tier taking a full survey Of the multitude
addressed them as follows :Fellow sinners
—I say here,fello\V sinners I understand
fro;nyour minister,thnt you are i
n the
'
habit of getting up und going out of the
meeting-house ,und otherwise disturbing
the congregation,while lit: is preaching,
and he wishes me to give you a lecture
on the subject ,and 1 shall now begin my
sermon by dividing you into three differ-
ent classes,to wit :the good,
the bad,
and
the tag rag and bobtail,and any one that
leaves this house during the present ser-
vices,him or her I
shall cull bobtail. Lo-
ren/.ospoke over two hours, and not a
soul—man, Woman, or child, dared I
d
stir from their seats ;and on winding up
his discourse he congratulated them be-
csuse. there wen; no bobtails in his con-
gregation. .Sufficeit to say, that the min-
ister who made the complaint never had
any dillkulty with his congregation after-
wards—Portsmout h State Herald.
A Jew Jew'd.—It was observed that A
Certain covetous tich mun never invited
any one 10 dine with him. ' 1will lay a
wager (said a wag) Icun get an invita-
tion from hint.' The wager being accep-
ted,
he goes the next day to this rich mans
house,about the time he was known to sit
down to dinner,and tells the servant that
he must speak with his master immediate-
ly, for that he could save hint u thousand
pounds. ' Sir,(says the servant to his
master) here is u man in u great hurry to
speak with you,who says he can save
you a thousand pounds.' Out comes the
master ,' what is that you say, Sir, that
you can save me a thousand ^pounds ?*
Yes,Sir,Ican,but Isee you' areiat din-
ner ;I
will go myself and dine) and Call a-
gain.' ' Oh pruy sir,take dinner with me,
? Sir Ishall be troublesome.' « N
ot at a
l
l ;
The invitation wus accepted. As snort
as dinner was over,and the family retired
' well sir,
(says the man of the house)no#
to our business. I
'
ruy let rtie know how
I atn to save this thousand pounds V 'Why
Sir^ (said the Other ) Ihear that you have
u daughter to dispose of in marriage.
'' I
have.' ' A n d that you intend to portion
her with ten thousuud pounds.' ' I
do so.j
' Why, then sir,let me have her,
and I
will
take her with nine thousand.' The mat-
ter,of the house instantly rose in a pasiiort
anu
r
tur ned him out of doors.
The Union (Pa.) Times contains a rt-
port of the trial of Peter Neff,
i
l
l the Quar-
ter Sessions of Union county, for biting
off the ear of David Matthews. Th
/5 de-
fendant was convicted, and sentenced to
pay a fine of twenty dollars ami costs,Si
to be confined in the jail o
jf,.Union coun-
ty for three months.
Six young m«:n conterned in the pow-
der plot ,to blow uyMhe Mayor of Albany
plead guilty to the charge,and were each
fined $20. The mayor informed the
Court that the damage to hi* li«"»c »aU
been repaired,and recommended that the
Court should not imprihon them.—-It ap-
pears they did it out ol « fun." I
t came
near being no fun at all to those concern-
ed.
Messrs. Drowning & Abbott,Concord,
S.U. have this yf.ur furnished two carr'
lges
for &ta/.
"- propi ietors in Cunada and have
contracte d for two more. They are sub-
ject to JO per cent,ad valorem duty, and
yet do not cost the purchasers more ibfMi
iliose made in Canada.
Fro m the .VfU York CunsttHaliim .
L
'very summ er a crusade is started a-
gainst cucumbers ;and some errant knight
who is as er rant a madman as ever was
Don Qui.xote or Sir Hudibras , take s up
a rms against the poor harmless vegetable.
The leaders are sure to be followed by a
great number of squires ,who,like Sancho
Panza or Ral pho,are content to be the
humble imitators of their crazy masters.
Among those who have most frequently
and persevering ly put lance in rest and
run a tilt against this cooling and comfor-
table product of the vine,is a certain
Capt. Megrim,who resides every where
in general and nowhere in particular.—
He may be seen every summer,in some
place or other, from Maine to Georgia,
constantly engaged i
n preaching, writing,
fighting against cucumbers. I
t iseven as-
serted that he possesses a sort of ubiquity ;
that he is known to be present in sundry
places at one and the same time ;
and thai-
while he is writing an anti-cucumber para-
graph in Ne w York ,he is most eloquently
holding forth against the vegetable in Phil-
adelphia, and clambering over a garden
wall to tear up the farmer 's vines in some
obscure country town.
However this may be,it is certain,that
he is indefatigable in his endeavors to pre-
vent the propagation and use at the same
l
ime,travels with the most unaccountable
rapidity from one end of the U. States to
the other. Pacolet,by turning the mys-
terious peg ;was never wiiiskedaway on
his wooden horse with such vv,
onderful ve-
locity.
I
n preaching and writing he uses a
great variety of arguments , adapted to
comprehension or the prejudices of his
readers or hearers. At one time aserts—
"Cucumbers are a slow poison." At ano-
ther he facetiously says—" The only pro-
per mode of using cucumbers is, to cut
them in thin slices ,salt , pepper and vin-
egar them well,and then—give them to
the hogs." Again he says,adapting his
language to the ignorant and vulgar—
" Cucumbers is the most hurtfulest and
dangerousest tilings that ever was eaton —
they are as irnii^'t siible
as
agrinstone and
as cold a liisirkle '"
At othei times the Cnptuin inserts a par-
avrrap h in the newspapers , purporting to
relate the death or sufferings of some im-
prudent or headstrong person , who has
died or come near dying from the use of
cucumbers : as thus :—" W e are imfor-
med , that Mr. Thomas Tow/.er. who
keeps a grocery near the fool of Maiden
Lane,was yesterday diseased,belived to
be Molor.i I
'orbus ,in consequence of im-
prudentl y eat ing a platefu l of cucumbers
along with his dinner. Very little hopes
are entertained of the patient 's recovery.
"
A nd again :—
" Death />v cucumber* ! It is our pain-
ful duty to announce the death of Miss
Wilhelinina Juliettu Pigweed Snaggs, of
this city, who died d.iy before yesterday
of a cucum ber which she unfortunately
ate with her dinner about six weeks ugn—
thus incontestibly proving what we lately
asserte d,that cucum bers are slow poison.
The fate of Miss Snag'^s
is the more to
be lamented ,as wo understand she was
just on the eve of matrimony with a weal-
thy and respectable merchant ,who does a
wholesale business in Pearl str 't ,ami who
is sa id to be inconsolable lor her loss.
P. S. Since the was above in type,we are
'unformed that the betcaved gentleman ,
being resolved not to survive the object ol
his allections , deliberately swallowed a
peck of whole cucumbers without pepper
or salt , a nd died in the space of fifteen
minutes — the slow poison in this cast
being converted into a quick one by the
enormity of the dose. I
n conclusion,
thi.
v
shoul d be a warning! to all persons , mid
especially to those who are in love, to be-
ware how they meddle vvith cucumbers. ''
At another time tin' Captain inserts a
noti ce like, the following :" Coroner 's In-
ipiest. Picke d up this morning, in the
dock ,nea r the bottom ol Fulton-street ,
tlie body of an unknown man, dressed in
.
i blue coat ,whin: waistcoat ,checked pan-
loons ,and stri ped shirt. lie was seen
yest erday allernoon going int o :in eating
house ,near the matket ,where he is be-
lieved to have eaten a large platefu l of
sliced cucum bers — in consequence of
which he is supposed to have fallen into
the river and drowned. Verdict—Died
of cucumbers. "
Someiinivs the captain is fount! at din-
ner table looking anxiously from one end
illthe board to the other, warning the
j mmsIs not to indulge in cucumbers and
leainedlv i .\p;il i,il in" on the chemical ,
dys peptical ,iudi;
.
'esiiMe and destiu ctivc
pro perties ol tin.1 tempting vegetable .
"Ah , Mr. Cornflower ilont eat those cu-
cumbers."
" Not eat them , sir ! and wherefore
should n't Ieat the m r"
" They a re so unheahhv ! so danger-
ous !
"
"They may be da ngerous for you Cup-
lain Megtim ,but I
' m sure they are heal-
thy for me."
" You're quite mist aken,Iassure you,
Mr. Cornflower.,'
" Mistake n ! zounds , nian,dont Iknow
what is for my own health as well as
you r"
" You may ima gine»o—but I again as-
sure you of llic Uutb of what Isay. I
've
made cucumbers my jrtudy for these for-
ty year s,and certain™* Iought to know.'1
" A nd I
've beeMeating them these
fifty yea rs,and lherW»re. Ido know , that
they arc perfectly healthv^l
" Ibeg your pardonTslrXbut you are
certainly mistak en." fc \
" Ibeg your pardonwr bAyou're cer-
tainly a fool !
" ^C & ' M
" A fool , Mr. Cornfl ^Hp
f°0' 1 'V
" Ah,
a fool—and so MrfA other man
who pretends to direct my clifflce of diel,
as tliou(.
'l
i Idid'nt know as well alpine
sheep and cqttk- on my farm, what is
good for me. One animal likes one
thing) and another. An ass munches
thistles ,while a iifce eats clover. Shall
the ass say to the^rse—' Look yon My.
Bucephalus,that clover which you are
eating is very hurtful.' ' Hurtful ! I
've
eate n it for these ten years , and never
found it so.' ' So you may imagine—but
my name is Donkey, aud .sure I ought
to know. Just try thes'i thistle s once.'
' Thank you, Mr. Donkey—thistles may
be very good for an ass— but for my part ,
I
'm very well satisfied with clover.
'"
CKL ' SADE AG AINST Cl ( I M-
ItKIlS.