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August 11, 2006
 
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By John Walker arts@barnstablepatriot.com From the makers of the Matrix comes this latest adaptation of a graphic novel or, as non-geeks say, comic book. Not having been a fan of either of the two Matrix sequels, I sat down to watch V For Vendetta and prepared to be B For Bored. I was, however, PS For Pleasantly Surprised. Whatever magic the Wachowski brothers worked in the original Ma- trix isveryevident in this film.Not to say that V is an action-packed thrill ride, but it does contain enough ac- tion in between story lines to keep even the most diehard action fan happy. Vis apoetic revolutionary/terrorist who,throughout the film, isonlyseen while wearing a Guy Fawkes mask. The film is set in afuture time where a plague has devastated most of the world, America is in ruins and Eng- land has shut itself off to the outside world. The new English government flourishes by playing on people's fears and controlling the media. A neo-fascist right-wing conservative Christian leader who makes Mel Gibson seemlikeMartin LutherKing runs the government. V sets out to right the injustices visited upon him and the citizens of England by commemorating Guy Fawkes Day,ironically,by blowing up the parliament. He enlists the help of Evey (NataliePortman).Thisisnotonly adaringfilm inan era ofpost-9/11poli- tics, but it is also an important one. It asks the question, "Is being free from fear worth giving up all of your freedoms?" And, at what point does the government go from protecting us from our fears to becoming our fear? VForVendetta iswellworth the cost of the rental and is perhaps one of the best films of the year. Grilled Ray Romano {Everybody Loves Raymond) andKevinJames (.King of Queens) star as down-on-their-luck meat salesmen in this comedy.How could you go wrong with these two reigningkingsofsitcomsandsyndica- tion? Well, start by renting it. The movie is boring, pointless and almost devoid of any laughs at all. The only bright spot in the film is Burt Reynolds,who stars asaJewish gangster and the subject of a hit by the Mafia. The film meanders around as the two desperately try to sell meat in circumstances where any normal, abnormal or dead person would have gottenup andleft.I alsofound myself thinkingthat door-to-door salesmen were replaced by spammers on the Internet and junk mail. But I guess Los Angeles is just teeming with people in the door-to-door salesman business. Don't be tempted, as I was, by the two funny men on the cover of the DVD box. There is absolutely noth- ing funny in it and certainly nothing worth your time. Severed Zombie lumberjacks! How could these filmmakers have come across my deepest fear? It's like they read my diary. How much fear this film willinstill in you depends solely on one of two things.Doyou believe that the dead can rise and stumble through the world eating the flesh of the living? And, secondly, are you a tree or do you have a tree-like appearance? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then Severed may be for you.Ifyou answered maybeto either ofthese questions,then Severed may be for you as well. WhatturnstheMngintoanarmyofthe cannibalistic undead? Some genetically alteredtreesap.Whoarethevictims?Big, dumb lumberjacks and environmental- ists, although it could be safely argued that the true victims are indeed the viewers of this horrible mess. ¦ Our intrepid band of heroes is so physically and mentally chal- lenged that they are completely incapable of escaping shambling, rotting corpses. The blood soon begins to flow, or perhaps "spurt" is a better word. Yes, "spurt." So muchblood spurtsalloverthisfilm it beginsto haveaMonty Python qual- ity about it, minus the laughter. On the scale of bad zombie films, this one hasto rank towardsthe bot- tom.But fans ofzombiefilms willsay, that since there are already so many bad zombie films,how bad could this one be? House Of The Undead bad! For non-fans of zombie movies stay far away from this rotting, maggot- infested mess. V For Vendetta Sandy Duncan... CONTINUED FROM PAGE C:1 Do you think we should be at war? Idon'tthinkweshouldeverbe at war.But that'skind of naive, I suppose. It's unthinkable to methat we're stillhurting each other instead of operating from a place of love and instead a place of fear and economics. Some people say that comes f rom a place of greed. Or entitlement. I say work hard, earn a great living, get whatever you want out of life, have all the stuff you want. But there should be a ceiling on it - enough is enough!It'salmost likedemocracy hasgotten away from everyone; it's become a power struggle. There's a womanout there buyingapurse that costs $40,000! Don't these people read af...ingnewspaper? People like Oprah should throw a few thousand to poor people -it's like peeing in the ocean, but it would relieveahelluvalot, it would help create programs so people can live their lives withdignity.Butno.We'vebeen raised to compete... To want more!More!More!It'sabout a way of life. It's about greed. Share some memories of Danny Kaye, with whom you worked in the forgettable film Pinocchio. I adored him, but he wasn't really a nice guy.He came with a reputation, he didn't suffer fools well. He was openly rude sometimes.But one-on-one,he was an angel. Hewas abrilliant chef- he'd have dinner parties. .. one night there'd be Lauren Bacall and Margot Fonteyn,an- other night, there'd be this star and that one. He flew ajet, he traveled extensively,he owned a baseballteaminSeattle.Danny was so artistic in nature and in hisappreciation oflifethat to be around him was infectious. What a vision! And speaking of visions...your fake eye 'was the object of a jok e on Family Guy. Are you aware of this? Yes. My son called me from Tulane and told me. I didn't see it. Iknow they did some sillyjoke -manypeoplethinkIhaveaglass eye. I had a tumor in my left eye whichkilledtheopticnerve,butit's my real eye. Ijust cannot see out ofit.It remainsaperiod of adjust- ment -sometimes things will be just out of range.I have no depth perception,soIhave to memorize andtrack wherethingsare,sort of likeradar.Irecentlyhad cataracts in my good eye and they removed them and replaced the lens and I can actually see without glasses, and I have worn them since I was 12! But like all mortals my age, I stillneed them to read. Let's end with a tastier ques- tion. Do you still get a lifetime supply of Wheat Thins? [Laughs] I never did. On the dayoftheTVcommercialshoots I ate them,but actually,Iprefer Triscuits! Sandy Duncan performs in Sandy DuncanCelebratesBroadwaywithDon Correia and Guy Stroman, presented Aug. 26 at 8 p.m. at Cape Cod Com- munity College in a Cape Cod Perform- ing Arts Center concert. For tickets (S44/S42 for adults, S42/S40 for ages 65 and up, and $18 for 18-and-un- ders), call 508-862-2580. Find it fast ¦ . •. -.3ST AKIAP ' ri •) H 'aWm.Click A&feAAlER NlllfHMIttR . ¦'" . r- fllfitoitse. ^ ROM! BASF ¦ i l l ] ']['! ¦ rmgi| | a i| §r classifiedswjftlN m srokjr !j*2 !^»l«2f' « B M LW"* rat) @bamsta% patriot.com woraf I tenis flTfiA fe&s wL IIt Itarnrtatjle •US I BMfcMUt W JWMJUM . m ipatnot 508-771-1427 www.barnstablepatrrat.com NOWPIAYING jgm^g g g^m^ ^ ^ ^ ^p^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ M WORLD TRADECENTER (PG-13) Digital Fri. - Thu. (1230350)7151005 STEP UP (PG-13) Fri. - Thu.(1140 215 445) 7301020 ZOOM(PG) Fri.-Thu. (1200 230 455) 7451000 PULSE(PG-13) Digital - Fri. - Thu.(1220 245 510) 7351000 THE DESCENT(R) Fri.- Thu. (1155 240 500) 7401010 THE NIGHT LISTENER (R) Fri. -Thu. 7551015 BARNYARD(PG) Fri. - Thu.(1215 240 450) 7501020 TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLADOF RICKY BOBBY (PG-13) Fri. - Mon.(1130 330) 710 945 Tue.(1130) 710Wed. (330)945 Thu. (1130) 710 TALLADEGANIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY (PG-13) Digital- Fri. - Thu.(225 505) 800 MIAMIVICE (R) (OC&DA) Fri. (1205) Sat. (335)Sun. (1205)1015 Mon. (1205) 720 THEANT BULLY(PG) Digital - Fri. -Thu. (1135) JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE (PG-13) Fri. -Thu. (1145 450) 955 MIAMIVICE (R) Fri. (335) 720 1015 Sat. (1205) 720 1015 Sun. (335)720 Mon. (335) 1015 Tue.- Thu. (1205 335) 720 1015 MONSTER HOUSE (PG) Fri. - Thu. (1150 220 435) PIRATESOFTHE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST (PG-13) Fri. - Thu. (1210340) 7001010 THE DEVILWEARS PRADA(PG-13) Fri. - Thu. (210) 725 TALLADEGANIGHTS (PG-13) (OC&DA) Tue.(330)945 Wed. (1130) 710Thu.(330)945 I PULSE (PG-13) Digital - Fri. - Thu. (1245 400) 735 955 TALLADEGA NIGHTS: THE BALLAD OF RICKY BOBBY (PG-13) Digital - Fri. - Thu. (1235 350) 725 1005 BARNYARD (PG) Fri. - Thu. (1205 230 445) 740 950 PIRATESOF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST (PG-13) Fri. - Thu. (1215 330) 700 1000 MONSTER HOUSE (PG) Fri.- Wed. (1200 220 440) 705 945 Thu. (1200 220 440) 705 MIAMI VICE (R) Fri. -Thu. (340) 7151010 THE ANT BULLY (PG) Fri. - Thu. (1225) LATESHOW: SNAKES ON A PLANE (R) Thu. 1000 WORLD TRADE CENTER (PG-13) Fri.- Thu. (1240 330) 715 940 SCOOP (PG-13) Fri. - Thu. (100 315) 705 910 THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (PG-13) Fri. - Thu. (100 350) 700 915 MRS. PALFREY ATTHE CLAREMONT (NR). . Fri. - Thu. (1255 340) 725 930 AN INCONVENIENTTRUTH (PG) Fri. - Thu. (105 355) 730 925 Shiver your timbers... CONTINUED FROM PAGE C:1 a talking skull, Mr. Scurvy runs a preschool for young swabs and swabettes, and Old One Eye has passed away.Old One Eye's schol- arly son, Windslow, joins Blackbeard on his quest to find the remainder of his men, who have been captured by the quick-tem pered King Neptune. King Neptune has problems of his own, and requires that Blackbeard and Windslow help him before the imprisoned pi- rates can be released. His red-haired daughter, Milly the Mermaid, has run off with her hippie boyfriend , Murray. Blackbeard tracks down the rebellious teen with the help of a Rodney Dangerfield-esque squid, and then confronts a sea serpent that speaks in fairy tale quotes. Blackbeard's nemesis, Captain Shortenburg, shows up throughout the play in attempts to steal the sought-after treasure. Branden Smith brings the grandiose German pirate to life with a hilarious ac- cent and over-dramatic actions. Matt Kohler plays Blackbeard as good-hu- mored but gruff, as any pirate should be. Andy Gauthier makes an excellent narrator as the pirate Flint, whose eye patch mysteriously switches eyes each time he appears. Drew Gauthier (Andy's real-life son) ac- companies him as his ador- able sidekick, Little Matey. Charlie Ferguson plays Windslow and does an ex- cellent job with the young man's curious, bookish per- sonality.Billy Bones' skull is voiced by Jason Pacella, and Duncan McAllister performs as the funny, kindhearted Mr. Scurvy. Tommy Charlton is the perfect overprotective parent as King Neptune, whose floppy whitehair and beard bring him to greater levels of silliness. Ariel Catania plays King Neptune's stubborn but sweet daughter, Milly the Mermaid. Devyn Hart is Murray, her hilarious hip- pie boyfriend whose talents include collecting conch shells and making pooka shell necklaces. The sets, designed by Sullivan and painted by VanessaVarjian, include skillfully painted back- drops along with various three-dimensional objects. The actors aren't limited to the stage, however; chase scenes take place through the auditorium. Children will especially enjoy that interaction, along with questions that Flint the narrator asks the audience. The costumes are su- perb, and some regular attendees of Barnstable productions can spot pieces carried over from past shows. The leather boots worn by the pirates are extras from the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which any young Pirates fans will no doubt appreciate. Also outstanding are the music- and dance-num- bers, especially the catchy "Pirate's Polka," with lyrics by Sullivan. Jokes range from cheesy standup to subtle puns, but all are funny and entertaining. Held in the very well air- conditioned Knight Audi- torium at Barnstable High School, The Lost Treasure of Blackbeard is a perfect way to spend a hot sum- mer night. The Lost Treasureof Blackbeard'is on the boards at Barnstable High School's Knight Auditorium on West Main Street in Hyannis tonight and tomorrow and Aug. 16-19 at 7 p.m. For tickets ($10), call 508-771-6246. __ . 5 1 _ Madness of Macbeth... CONTINUED FROM PAGE C:1 Ohio University Theatre troupe, these youthful and robust students adeptly resurrected the spirit of Shakespeare's damned protagonist. Luke Eddy's per- formance as Macbeth conveys that there are bigger and brighter things ahead for this young man. He does not simply play the role of Macbeth; he is Macbeth. A veteran of the Monomoy Theatre, Shelley Delaney, gave an astonishing por- trayal of the devious and demented Lady Macbeth, from the mali- cious soliloquies to the idiosyncratic behavior that is as freaky as Sissy Spacek's performance in Carrie. Also topping the bill was Matthew Archam- bault's depiction of the trustworthy Banquo, and the vengeful Mal- colm characterized by Casey Predovic. Assembling Shake- speare's Macbeth took more than just review- ing the Cliff's Notes version of the play and winging it in one week. Archambault, a first- year graduate student at Ohio University in Athens, said that, "luck- ily there has been so much research on Mac- beth that we instantly knew who we were by April. We all sat down at the worktable to discuss the characters and the play itself." Michael Lincoln, the professor of lighting at OU, said, according to the University's Web site, that the school "is big enough that there are a lot of opportuni- ties but small enough that there is a very close relationship with the faculty and students." What's said about Ohio University is true at the Monomoy The- atre, as Archambault explained that, "the relationship itself is about experience. A condensed experience of what we might be ex- posed to after college." That condensed expe- rience can be witnessed in Monomoy's stunning production of Macbeth. It is not something to miss. Macbethis showing at the Mono- moy Theatre at 776 Main Street in Chatham tonight and tomorrow evening at 8. For tickets, call 508-945-1589. Snow White... CONTINUED FROM PAGE C:1 showingher how ugly she truly was.Along with the mirror, the play is interrupted periodically by a Jester and a "Jester Junior" who discuss the play with the audience. For younger kids especially, this addition made the hour-and-a-halflong play a little bit easier.Foreveryone else,it just made the play a bit more special. Touches like these are what make HJT'sversion of Snow White truly memorable. Although Snow White was wonderful, it did get a bit sicklysweet, as many fairy tales do. In addition, the rhyming became hard to follow sometimes, and made the audience a bit rest- less.Because the show is child- oriented, some adultsmay find it a bit slow-going. Both the actors and the behind-the-scenes production crew did a great job with creat- ing a play that both adults and children alike could enjoy. Snow White is at Harwich Junior Theatre through Aug. 25, with perfor- mances Monday through Thursday at 7:30 p.m. and Friday and Sunday at 4 p.m. There is an ASL pertormance Aug. 21 at 7:30 p.m. For tickets ($18, $16 for ages 65 and over, $12 for youth under 21), call 508-432-2002, ext. 4.