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Newspaper Archive of
Barnstable Patriot
Barnstable, Massachusetts
May 11, 1831     Barnstable Patriot
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May 11, 1831
 
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BARK8TABX.E PATRIOT. rt ' t l I SIIK I I KM HV W K D S T S H A Y MO RM K U , okc poor ».»5T or t ut m*T nrn< ( j ixo n i B F . c T i .v nrro K i T F . t i i k Ci;fT >M-Hiu:fr. . rv S. if. $MCmnl » per squii ie for cadi nddiiinnnl insertion. Tlicrr is n prritt PRINT . Talk is good and print is fjood, liul the best of both is the talk ,that is as good print—and the print that is as ton.I as liilk. Tli i' talk of a reflecting mind will always be listened to,ami the piinted lu- cubrations of a ready mind will always be read with pleasure. A time was ,but that time is happi ly p;ist,wlicn books were the profound xnd solemn companions of a la- borious and gloomy solitude ; when a reading man and a talking man were not one and the same ; when pale faced slu- :rs from the {glri* of /i 6t ick-tHokA)^ All |hy ; pf the pale of rational existence. Now V.c al l read,all talk,all wy /fe; all print , and it loAksjj»*if fli'e tjjfte was not far far qfFwlfcir' . ^nic suc h /ngejjjjg^i^f«4jll j|- mxtrm i i*, \who wrote VJvery man ms oiv, Washerwoman ,nii ^ bt put forth a work cahecfc' E»ery writer bis o-.vn read- er.' Not onlyVjf the scliuolQinstor a- broad,but tho scholar is abiAd, aiybHft '"ool.s ajc abroad, and,to j Kmqfiy the i^ords of Shakspeare—• All the world' i a tc lioo l, And all the men and wome n merel y ttli oinri And now print is talkau!* , and talk is printable. We live in a land of literature and breathe a learned »»ir,and the waters of knowledge no longer bottled up in seal- ed bottles,but are diffused through the at- mosphere in a form of an impartial and universal dew ;and there is no sty le ol tnlk that the world loves so well and that meets with so ready a reception, as that which has to do with books,which is redolent of print ;and llws, next com- mon place,after the weather, *s the last book or the last book but fifty. Nor a- gain, is there any style of print mor« acceptable than that which savors of talk and is full of the living interests of human, ily. So far from despising, as beneath Its notice,a book of mere talk, the work receives with greedy glee, the most per feet coHoqtiialitie* of composition, W< do not creep into holes and corners of the earth to commune with profound ab- stractions ,or to peruse most learned trea- tises,sitlins: «ilh seminimlar spine, and elbows on the table , and hands pressed upon the forehead,and eye-brows ri gid- ly knit into the painfu l semblance of pro- found coniemp laiioii , but we sit with n Irii'iul,sweel ly at ease ,recumbent on a so- la, lounging in a chair ;or we walk with it as a |iorl.ili|t - pei ip.itelic philosop her, which teai'lies as we ;;o ;or we sland w ilh it as a gos .M|iin g companion ,by the fire- side,and we love to inniM iir in our rend- ing the voice dl i for- get t>ur books in our intercouiri 1 with the worl d. Hut we are not so profiuiud astln> men o) lolios in the generations tlia are pone by ;so much the belter. We i are not so stu pilied— we are n.it so pe- dantic— we are not so tempestuous—ere- iiieutical : we are m ire lunniini/.ed, niort1 sociabli' ; we have bnisln d away the dust of literature ,and rubbed oil" the rust of il- literairncKS. Literal lire has come forth Irom iis monaslerv ,and renounced its ce- libacy. Our modern Minerva is not a spinster btil a queen ; jiml so I '.ir from bring nn up- of superficial, Iho present is an iige of deepened ,literature —ol infused and diffused intelligence.— The great reservoirs are broken up, and iusiend <>l tiithntnless stagnant pools, we have cheei ful and fertilizing streams. — We are not profound — pish ! we are bel- ter titan pro found- We h.ive a literature tl i.it w e cm uiiike use of — t h a t we enn 1111- derderstand—that We can talk about — that we can bring to our tables and fire- sides— that we ciiu shate with our fami- lies and enjoy with our friends. We a'c not lumbered with a n. veless incuinbiaiice but we ate furnished with what we can nee ,an d with (hat therefor)! the mind niiiv be embellished. Literature is hu- man— it is of die ri^'lit manly ( lenient — an d in sp ite iiftbe I.Miieiilatioiis nf lliose w ho reg-ird the pres* nt as the dregs ol past gl"l'\', and tile |iioli)ise ol future mis- chief,we view it w i'.b a pleasant a ppro- bation , as liiriuiti'; a p:.ictical comment on I 'nj x-'s never to Ije forgotten ma .xiin : Tlic propel stud y of m.lllli inr l is m ill. I',i.in ili>. N V < Mi-irllnduit. FIRST OF A I*111 I/ JOK KH. Ai. w 1'fiiiK April -1 !.-;>ily of my uncle Silverlo;) were all blown to the ntoou. Hut I baflled the malice of inv fust of A pril correspondent lot I demanded and received back tin povlage . On my lelurn I poj tl into an apothe- car y 's >.h(ip and inquired the pi ire of (i'/ ua fi 'ltllrxlii It. * Two and sixpence a yard ,' i.'plied I 'eslle ,promptl y ; • but we sold ill'' last not half an hour ago. Delight- ful weaihci',this. W' <- bavej ust import- ed a new article , a kind of cephalic snuff, very i-fli'-acious in verti go and tin tied head; i( u called pv h'is tturczntuin . Will you take a pii.cli r' This was spoken in so crave aii(i genteel a manner ,that 1 ha J no su' .|iicioii of any trick ! and taking as (illicit (pf the puh 'is snrrzn(ii>n »s I could cle verl y bold between my thumb and fin- ger , ithrew it far up my nose,and found it was ca yenne pepper a little disguised ttilh pulverised charcoal. J rubbed my nose till the skin was ,off,and thought the juke was too smart for me. As 1 was ciossiti'i the street ,Ieucouri- lered a gentleman tiding horseback , and said to liim ; " Mister ,your horse 's girth is under bis belly.' He sto pped short to examine the case , and hearing me. burst into a horse laugh,he seeme d to recol- lect it was (In- first of A pril, and giving afte'u.lianl cut with bis riding whi p, In: ^t rrrflM n Idid'nt t hink much of that ^ almnv i^iu , i uiu ui iiiui n uhkh ui uiiii joke, *" Inext poked my head into a thread and noodl e store ,and observing an old lady KrUrng dei uin ry in one corner, I asked her gravely for the thread of Mr. MufTil'* last discourse. Capital quiz,that ,was 'm it i Dill the old lady was up to a trap.— Says she,• J'm xtr y sorry to say 1 can 't accommodateyou for true as I 'm alive , MJiter,the thread took fire in (he middle of the sannunt,and ni l burnt up. Ihad just left the thread and needle store,w hen Imet with my cousin Mar- garet Mullikeii. ' Maggy,' says I there's a spot on your face as big as a dol- lar !' Dont vou thin k she went into fits ? No such thing ; she did'nt even pay my joke the compliment of giving a maiden- ly screech. 'Why,Harry, you silly dunce, ' says she, 'you're al l over spot.' • Yoore too k«en for me, 'says I ,' Idon't know what fool is'nt, 'retorted she, ; and with thes« compliments we passed on. « Du you see that flock of wild geese ?' said Ito the next man I mel. « Where /' said he. * Why don' t yon see them there ? said I ,a little lo the northeast.' ' Icant say Ido, 'replied h",putting on his glas- ses ; 'I'm r,Mher near sighted.' ' Look just ovt r them buildings there, ' sji ul 1.— I ly this lime a large crowd had gathered rou iid, an d were earnestly gazin;: in the tlii'(lion to which I pointed , whe n an old huckster woiirni came up and asked w hat was there. ' A flock of wild geese , Ma 'nni ,' s.iys I ' Wild geese ! ' exclaim- ed she,in a ci acke d voice— 'you look more like a panel of tame ones, and I'll lie bound your 'e a ll a pack of A piil fools." This rather unequivocal him ,,f ( | l(. ,,ld woman 's brought the cro wd lo iln ir recol- lect ion, and a sudden dispi'tsiou took place . I letreate d along wild ihe rest ; for. thoug h I had succedi'd in deceiving i mult itude , 1 h.id no desire to encounter «ils sinyle handed with a huckster wo- man. 1 had by this timei;ot over mv iingei with my wife and Kilty for oui-looling tin a nd I returned home to dinner. 1 wa> now pretty well satisfied with my ever lions ,and determined to rest on tin- glo- ries IIi.kI won. Dinner was at lengili brought in,and recollecting the events ol the Him niii'j ,1 took a slnirp surxcy ol the countenance of my wife and Kiltey, to see if they had any farther (ticks in store lot me. Hut ,a lter the most exact scrut iny, I coul d not delect the smallest pa rticle of lurking mischief. I conclu- ded that they had ceased fioni their fool- eries and that I should enj oy my hum] in quiet. In fact ,eve ry tiling passed oil for a time very well,until the dessert wa.- produced ; when my wife, with her usu- al sweet look ,asked u hied, I would pre- fer, custard or cranberry (art ? ' Cranber- ry tart ,my dear , sai d I . ' K ilty, ' sai d my wi fe,' In in: ; Mr. Jio bson a piece ol the cran berry til t. ' My wile knew thai I was particularly fond of cr.inbery tail. As soon as it w.is set before me, I com- mence d operations by laking a large mouthful,and found it was made of poke- berries ! Iat fust eudeavoicd lo laug h ; liul presently ,t hinking my wile 's joken bad gone tar i'Ik >u;rh , Iconclu ded to as- sert lite dignity uf my stat ion and accord- ingly asked her with a srvete lone, what ( bed — I she meant. " You might bavr ba d custard , ' sai d she ," if you bad pic- Icired it ; but you chose the ctanbury tart — it was • Jlobson 's choice. ' This pun upon my name quite overcas t mv risin g chiller. I like si |>" in ••-niii i io imvs (, ' My dear , a Iruct .1 to any more fooleries ; let 's kiss and be friends.' ' W ilh all my heart , ' said my wife. The bargain was ratified ani l the salute was given with Midi hearty good will,lliat llnf report Maitlr d some doves which were billing and cooing on the eaves of llie adjoining bouse . I spent llie remain der of the day in quid,neither fooling nor hein-j; fooled— at |e,isl until the hour of retiring to rest , when le paitiug lo the kitchen to see thai nil was sa le,as Iopened door ,down came a bucket of water on mv sconce ! Isei/,- llii. 1 einplv vessel ,and was about throw- ing it at Kitty 's bead , when she burst out a laughing, and said ,' Ah , John is that you ( I thought I should p.iy you for your tr icks. ' Perce iving it was the ser- vant , man,and not me , for whom sin. ' had suspended the well filled bucket 1 merely reminded her of the mistake , when .she begged ten thousand paidou.*. But 1 believed in my luail the jiiiii' was not al all sorry for die result of iln; joke . Thus ,Mr. L'diior,Ifinished the firm of A pril,an d res'ilved in the end that Ihad little cans'- to boast of my success. Iwas now wel as a drowned rat , my hea d was broke uilli llie bucket ,and a suit ol clothes wh ich the day before bad cost me fifty dollars , was nearly .ruined. Ibad eaten salt petre for table salt , and poke-berries fur cranbfiry tail ;1 bud filled my nose. wilh r.iiyeune pepper,under tin. 1 attractive name of j mlvis Hiici 'zi'Otii m, and in older to alla y llie smart ,bad rubbed it till the ik iu was off ; Ibad drank a decoction of old shoes for co/ii;e,and hikery pikery for wine ;Ihad been deceived by a mon- key, and outwitted by a parrot ;anil wbal ba d Igained i Nothing but the equivo- cal ho nor of making fooK of a few half- witted people. Yours ,Ait. IIAK ItY I1OUSON. A Vernionlrr .—U we beli eve one half of the anecdotes told of Vermor.tem, they must be a shrewd people. The fol- lowing is a fact, __ A few winters since ,one of those sons of the mountain stopped at a public house in Massachusetts ,on his way to Boston , with the produce of bis farm. V» hen \m horses and himself were sufficiently re- freshed,he drew a purse from hi* pocket formed from the skin of a weasel, and made known his desire of discharging his bill. Mine host looked wishfull y at the silver,as it escaped from its singular con- finement ;but turning resolutely from the temptation,he said, —' Look, here , MU>- ter, there is a turnpike gute a, few rods ahead ;the mun who tends it told a tra- veller that my house was not fit for a hog pen. nn') thus lost me a custo- mer. Now if you will get through the gate without paying toll, 1 wont charge: you n cent for wh;it you have had. ' A- gt eed, " said tin? Ver monter retuting his money into the weasel skin and the wea- sel skin to his pocket— ' I ' l l do it or pav you double." He was soon underway , in«. ', '—an d again lugging forth his wea- sel skin , was about satisfying the man of lolls . The letter of the eonlract was in- deed fulfilled. The man ol bodies look- ed blank ,and sneaked away to his bar , mullerisig to himsel f,' What a fool Iwas I might have known he'd play some tr ick en me ; I never knew a Yerinonter at a loss yet.' I 'pon explaining tin? matter to tin? toll- nallirr ,he insiste d upon bis passing on l ice of expense. ll'ar Dc/Hirtmni t, Pension O jj ice. April l. r>f/i, is;5 1. Under the act of March 1. IS.'1 . ) , the the following rules \v,\w- been adopted :— If the 1 'eiisioner has died, mid left a widow , llie balance of bis pension be- longs lo her ;il he left no widow ,or she be dead, lo tin- children of the pensioner; il no child or children,then to the legal representative of the deceased. A widow claiming a balance must prove her relationshi p to ihe deceased belore a Court of Itccord ,show the period of his dentil , and that he was a pensioner ol ibel' uiled Stales. Children must prove before a Court of llecord, that the deceased was a pension- er of the Unite I Stales ,show the period of bis di'.itli, and that hi: left no widow , or that she be dead , that they are his children ,and ace ol'nge. A certi ficate of the facts proved must be obtained from the clerk of the Court. It is not necessary for the clerk to give t in1 evidence in detail, hot u/i/ y lo Mate the fads that have been proved,mid cer- ti fy under his seal oi office that (he testi- mony adduced was satisfactory to the Court. Mxecuiors and administrators must ob- tain from llie oilkcr who grunts the Idlers a certi ficate under his seal of office, that i l has been proved lo his satisfa ction,that t here me neither widow nor children of the deceased. A new liquid has been discovered by Mr. Isaiah Jennings ,of New York ,which he uses as a substitute for Oil in Lamps. It is described ;n a species of nlchohol , mid the advantages it possesses over oil are said lo cons ist in its cheapness , ntid the fact that il never chills, and that no smoke issues from il. It is transparent. It never burns (be wick ,und in less dange- rous , us no sparks have ever been known to (iML'iniitc there from. There* is no dripping below ihe but tier ,and no choke in the tubes. It is not injurious to the eyes there in no greaye,and is much s-jon- er l ighted. The editor* and proprietors of the Dai- ly Columbian Ccntiuel ,announce intbeii paper of May . 'id, the completion of an arrangement with the editor iind proprie- tor of llie New-Kngliifid I ' ulladium,by which those two papers will hcrea/ler be permanently united. A project is on foot ,to make a railway across the Isthmus of Sue/,, an d carr ying over it vessels of llie heaviest burden from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea . The vessels are to be placed on the railway, out of ihe wafer , by means of Morion' . '* patent slipx, and thence transported to the opposite sea ,by means of locomotive steam enjiines. The difficulties are said to be \v>f. formidable than those which ha ve bi:»'i) overcome in the construction ol the Knglish rail-roads ;and the Pacha of Lgypt is reported to have emp loyed nn Mutineer to inspect i\u; patent alipH. The proposition has been submitted in a ptip- er read before llie Society of Arts in Lou- don. Thus (he rail-way mania—for we cannot yet bring ourselves to look nt it in any other l ight—is diffusing itself ovtr the world,and seems likely to spread un- til it shall have cured itself by some sud- den and irreparable explosion.—Nation- al Journal. A country jeweller advertising, that he had a numbei of precious stone* to dit- p-,se u(,declared that they sp«rklcd like a young widow 's tears. Cadiz.—A duty of &4 per barrel un salt provisions ha* been laid at the |*Or1 of C'i t ^ir »'¦t»k" < {T'T» !M M>r<-> !' -"'' At i\ town meeting, held in Salem,cal- led for Iho pinpose of ncting npon n pp- tilion to reconsider the vote of the town passed nt n previous meeting respecting Cows gninrr ul |:lrj, (,O1, „ , m,tj v, , , t| ,nt the subject be indefinitely postponed, Judpc Cummins made the following remtivks which we copy fmin the HeRistei- :— Jiiilflt' Cummins state d to the meelinj! thnl it mUtmiliTNimulinr: prevailed in re I'ard to tl-e subject of cattle going ul lurg( on the l ii'hwavs,without u keeper,wen w rongfully there ,und ns much trespassers as if they entered (Ik* wardens or fields ol persons not the owners of such cattle.— lie was a wai'e llmt u praclice had grown up lo pet mil cows lo go al large? in the slreeis and highways ,but it was a prac- lice not authorized by the law. Without llie eimsenf of the to wn ,ctitilo cannot go nt l.ii ; ' ,! 1, and every instance of animal be- in;- let loose on the public, highways is u violation of the h»\v - Judge C. then cit- ed the cases which bad been decided bv the Supreme Court ,going to establish this rule of law. One of the cases was whore a town refused to puss u vote prohibiting cattle going at large ,and un action was brought ugainst the owner of animals found louse on the highways. The Court held that the tresptiss lies by the oimri- uf the.land which in covered by the. high- mm) —thiit the public, have no other right to (In: highway than that of passing unil repussiiig, and that ihe owners of the land rciiihi all oilier rights— consetjenl- ly dial no oilier person has (he right «>I" pasturage in such highway, and by turn- ing out cattle to pasture in (he highways, a trespass is committe d. The remedy of the ciii/.ens is therefore plain, eithe r with or without a vote of the town. They ca n detain any cattle (, 'oin(» til huge. David Koherts , Kst piire, thought as Judge Cummins had clearly shown tin regulation adopted by a vote at the pre- vious meeting to be entirely unnecessary, a mere surplussagc , as the law had al- ready provided for llie case ,that the voli had belter be rescinded. A coquette at a ball' asked a gentle- man who was adjusting her tucker , if he could////"/ a fun ' No madam , ' answered lie,proceediii)' to use it,'but 1 ciuij 'an u flirt. A (j iiack doctor mid a knavish lawyer were disputing about precedence. Let the thief go before, und the executioner follow,said a bystander. Lord Clicstcrficld'H physicians having informed liim that he was dying ' by in- ches , 'he tha nked heaven that he was not no tall by u foot ns Sir Thomas Robin- son. Judge Cummins explained—he did not mean to state thai the vote of the town was of! ho force,on the contrary, it was of essential importance,as it was in fur- theniiice of the law,providing for its ex- eeillii 'ii ,—i\'.C. N O T 1 V K . rM^ HK Milet ciibi -r* li'ive I'minnl u f/)|)Hrfnrr- J /' klii |, ioiil ivjI iu/ij iMu i OuJuMieio* inline** , u.Wcr i*iinii rt*~"'¦"'' '' fc^ inoKAf.'f: HamnERfc en, No. 'I, Oiiirnl w hiirf , l i otlou. ifOHACK SCUPJIKK, .lAMK rt IIUCKINd. *.. _ HORACE SOUDBXra Sc 00. NO. 4,Cr.KTiui.'Wii*ur, HOSTOK, W I I/l. V.rr\t cointnntiy oil h»n«l »n«l ('X «uln IIU N N INd U lf i t i l N U uf«M*!*<•», —MANILLA IIOFIC, HVUS- YAHN. fcf "« rci»il.—Oapq» ur Riuoj*" , CablkM , ''*** kk»,h*.from the manufactory of J^*l»h Ilot>- biiii,Kiq. of Plymouth. «»« be furjil«h« n any f|»Bflllty M »liort nutic«, ho«1 on l»l>W"» uinni, by appl ying •» above. March it,1831. "__ V f OTtOJL TiUmv ,Jn«li»M n»U Itnvi nif 1» pocscsiton BOOK B, M«nJ »X rn '"" > •** <°«*'P»*0«-. Mv>, Uy Ic.nnf. *iih Jtiii. ,