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BARNSTABLE PATRIOT.
rtBi j siir.n k.vi:rt wf.dnkm ' ay moknimi ,
out: noon r.AST of the i-ost ofk ich ¦
and 1' inrtri .v nrrosirt rn »:
Cl' ST >M -Hoc«K , I1Y
&. v . amiuuct ).
TZSRUCS—Two dollars per year, in nd-
vnnrc , or within three months , or two dollars
ami l
i
l 'tv rvntn nt the rnd of the venr.
ADVERTISING 1—Seventy five cents
per sijunri', lor tliico insertions ,
—fifty cents per
half Mjunre ; mid nt tho rntn of twelve mill a hull
cents per snimre for each nddiliniml insertion.
I rom tttt Mnhtlt Reg ister.
Irncln«e yon n copy of n li'tier Ij itol y rccriv-
rd by nnr IVrsidi'iit from his MnjrMyWilliii m
the I
'onnh. Tin.
' mtirrp from ulie.h Ireceived
th e doriniK nt is < iiiifnlriitial, lint yo u miv lest
Jierfectl y nssiil'cd of its iinllic iitii it v. V .H.
'J'o let yon Know that (ieor^r
is
dead ,
y\nd I
'm now I
'l-i^uiug in his stead ,
'1 11is brief df' spiitili I send :
Assuring yon tlirre ne'er shall be
Disp ute or \wir 'tw i x t you nnd me,
My democratic friend.
Inin just Kor.Kuvli.ilin the ldues ,
h'roin France I have unpleasant nc»'i,
Things nre in s.id confusion.
The re 's been , I henr, n famous mil',
The Ki;bel« , (dop your pardon,sir ,
)
l
l nve mull1 a devolution.
To si v bow far 'twill reai b is viiin,
I
I has nlremlv enli'ied Spain,
And spread-* in rvci v ipiarter ;
Naples must y ield—pei haps tin- t'ope,
l!ut stil l, mv liicnd ,I lime a hoj i o
It will mil cross Ihe water.
Hut i
nnbs nrr rhnii^efn l
as the moon ,
We kin-rs ran n-ver tell linn sold,
Our h'Ti'ls , or rrmvns must j> 1 :
For sh iiiM tn\ " fai hfid ( 'minnon j " say ,
" Vou r (ira< iens Maje sty r.in 'l fl ay ,"
Imust be oil'
, \ on know .
Now should tlir Hai'iculs prevail ,
And think th ai Ihad bi'lter sail ,
fiut this is ronfideniial;
('an \ on , inv worth y frie nd provide ,
A mansion whe re I i
i
i
!
; 'l
i
l irsidi: '
The trims ait not essential.
IVrhapj king- Joe " would like to sell,
Hi« placr would suit inr very well,
There w here he last resided ,
If be consents — have the deed rlrnun,
For money you can r«ll .>ii Vuugbn ,
t
He's a l w ay s well pro vided.
A mi then ,a Uinp w ithout n crow n,
In rural ease I'll set me down ,
Aloof fj oni nuiopr- 's riol :
And when wiili me ,my fiii-nd,you dine,
AVo 'll crack our j okes and si p our wine ,
I
n calm ilumoMii: i|niet.
* J:isc|ili Bonaparte ,w lio iviw resides in N..
I
.
I i
lrilish Minuter In I1):' I* 11i1.-<1 Stiilcs
THE KING , TO THE PRE SI-
DENT.
Tin; venerable Stephen Rticp, w ith nn
economy worthy of those nations who eat
lire, \viih a couple of round sticks , or of
t hose individuals who e;it vinegar with a
lork , it* to s;ip his porridge out of a
wooden dKh. In i!iose days (lie ingenious
nit of Uirnii) .
' wooden diJies or bowls by
means of a l.it 'ic was not kn nvn,and the
particular one,used by ihe venerable Ste-
phen R'i'-"
.
T,was either a natural cavity
formed by the imbedding of a knot in the
body of ilie oak from whence it was tak-
en ;or else it had been scooped out by
the venerable Stephen himself. This is
a point which we also regret we have not
been able fully to asscrtain.
But let that pass. The bowl was an
exact gage to the appetite of its prudent
owner. For fifty years had he been in
ihe habit of regularly enjoy ing h'n porridge
from this same bowl ; and never in that
time had he taken more or less at one
meal than the exact measure of his bowl-
lul. Having swallowed this quantity he
was perfectly satisfied ; he neither want-
ed more,nor regretted—after the fjsh-
lon of many a modern gourmand—that
l
ie had not eaten less. In short there was
no vacinn in his stomach ; neither was
there oppression nor overloading. There
was,in medical phrase, neither inanity
nor disumion.
And here we might make some very
sage reflections on the importance of this
perfect regularity in the great and para-
mount concern of eating. But as sage re-
flections of any kind are seldom read, we
proceed with our story of the Wooden
Bowl.
Having pursued this uniform course for
the space of fifty years, neither eating a
spoonful moro nor a spoonful less , it is
not at all to be wondered at that the ven-
erable Stephen Hu^ir should be very much
surprised when he found all at once that
his stomach would not hold its accusto m-
ed bowlful. The truth is that the good
old man haismhnonilioii,
for his sioni-
ach knew from long habit ,as well as any
in Christendom ,whe n it had got enough.
How greatl y surprised was (iafi'cr Rugg,
wiii.
'ti lie found,that thoug h his stomach
was full,his bo wl was not empty. ' My
goodness !
' exclai med he ' (ja mmer IlugL',
w/ial is all this r tin strange ! tis marvel-
lous stra nge ! My sto mach is full,and yet
here is port idge left . This beats me ; I
caul account for it ; ] never saw the like
before. In fift y years that Ihave eat out
of this bowl ,it never served me thus ; it
was always empty the moment my stom-
ach was full. Strange ! very strange !'
In short the venerable Stephen Rugg
began to be very much alarmed ,iinil came,
to the very natural conclusion that the
capacity of his stomach had suddenl y
lessened,and that to use his own forcible
language,it was fast growing up. Jn this
belief he again addressed his wife, who
being half asleep in her arm chair , had
not heard him before. ' You ! you ! (jam-
mer Rugg •' I say, (jam mer Rugg, can
you .sleep when I
'm all growing up !
'
' (/rowing i\p !
' excla imed the. good
woman starl ing from her slumbers ,—
' W hat 's t he man talking about :I
'm sure
Gaffer Rugg you've been grown up this
fifty years. You was six feet high, good
measure,when 1 married you.'
' You don 't understand me, Ojnimn
RugL',
' sa id the venerable Step hen Rugg,
( what 1 mean is that my stomach is grow-
ing up.'
' Your stomach, Gaffer Rug* ! what
makes you think so V
• Why because,wife,
'said he, pressing
his (wo hands on his stomach and looking
with sa d countenance nt the remaining
porridge,
' 1can't eat more (ba n half my
allowance.'
'You an't well,Mr. Rugg.'
• No,I
'm sure I
' an't , or else I could
eat my allowance. I'm already ; .
'.L v/i. \<> \' •( ;.' .:' '
>'» :»!! tiiis cm, ;;
expense , and drivo him to the commis-
sion of suicide by mere dint of eating.
At length I'.benczer became of age,and
he resolved to seel; his fortune tit the
Westward. But before bidding adieu to
his venerable grandfather,whose fnco he
might never behold again ,he felt irresis-
ti bly prompted to confess the trick which
had cost the old gentleman so much un-
necessary porridge,so much exlrii labor
in enliu'
g, and so many groans in sup-
porting.the oppression of his stomach.
' Well ,(irantlfiither ,
' said he, on the
morning of his departure, t wish yon
manv yeiiis of health anil prosperity ;—
and I would n't tulvisr you lo eat any
more porridge than what is fur your rom-
full, for hark here 't was I that enlarged
you r wooden bowl.'
' You !' exclaimed the good old man
in MMouislimenl— ' was it you, ;
l!ene/.er.'
' Yes , (irandf.ilhcr,it was I, and no
miracle .
Will you forgive me ?
' Forgive you ! afte r all this waste of
porri dge,ami after almost killing myself
with stiilling it down ! Oh you graceless
rogue,MJcncy.er ! Where do you think
yoiil go to ?
' I'm goiu to the Gine.scfs*, grandfa-
the r '
' If you don't go to a worse place,I
'm
mistaken.'
' It ut here,lake mv blessing along with
you,for depend upon it you'll need it.'
I'.beue/.er now had lo make his peace
with his grandmother. Farewell , giand-
molher ; I wish you health and long life.'
'Ah ! F.zer,Fzer !' .said the kind old
lady, as a tear .stood in the co rner of her
e,
\c ,' vou 're a wicked child, and I
'm
afraid you'll never come lo good.'
' I
've got over all my bad trick s,now ,
grandmother ,
'
' Have yon ! have you, indeed ! ex-
claime d the placa ble old lady, and runi-
nging in her large pocket she look out a
crow n piece and ga ve it to her grandson.
'Here ,take this silve r crown ,
''for a pock-
et piece ,ami my blessing along with it ;
aii',! neve r undertake to meddle with any
body's wooden bowl again.'
Khenezer went lo the Westward ; and
the ve nerable Step hen Rugg having liav-
in Ia/.red bis bowl to its former dimen-
sions ,hi' and lit 1' excellent AIis . Susa nna
Rug!! spent the reinnanl oflhrir lives in
undisturbed peace and happ iness,
* Ilie country luiidi'i in;.;on (irmirmi! Hivrr in
lliosc ilitya C(jn>iili'i'i''l very f'U' •" 11•«t Wi-xl.
!
\r. I
''
. ( 'till -Jclltltion.
Iiom IIn: .Yew Yuri; i 'liiinlr llii llnn.
In t'ie valley of tiie C'oan c icut , many
years since,there dwelt a venerable man
by the name of Step hen Rugg. If i
l should
be asked ,' What relation he was to the
celebrated Peter Rugg } ' we answer posi-
tivel y, we cannot tell. We regret exceed-
ingly our want of information on this
point ; bat as vain regrets neither benefit
the reader ,nor help us along with our
.
story we pass them by. a nd proceed di-
rectl y to the remarkable affair of the
Woode n Bowl.
M I S O E L L A K Y .
TflS W3DD2J J5T B3WL.
Ihe persecution ,that from time imme-
morial , h is pu rsued that harmless ami in-
nocent race of men , has a rrived* lo a pilch
as sca ndalous as il is undeserving. Not
a day passes without innumerable ill- n;i-
tiired Jokes cracked at their expense ,and
they seem to ha ve become tin; taij 'et of
all manner of sarcasm , lid'cule an d a-
Iiiiv, Tli'-y are limited as selfish and
utisof i;d ,an d det ided as pour miserable
•¦features ,without any ul the comforts of
li!'1
,am i lit companions only for do;;s and
• ills, The borve become the standing
the me- ol laillery w ith hill willed junior
edito rs —of good nalured pit y with the
softe r sex ,and the very appellation of old
bachelo r is (as.1 assuming tin; syuonomous
definition of ' monster '--' bad man '—
' poor creature ,
' iV.c. \u: Tin; bache-
lors, iievcrlhelesx ,and \i c declare i
l ad*
visedly, are a sensible set of fellows.—
Th'-y kno w when they arc well o/J', ami
regard with perfect indifference,the abuse
of their fair enemies. —They sec \ciy
clearly where tin.1 prunella pinches, and
lauij li in their sleeves at the dc.sjjeiiitu el-
foits of waning beauty to lure them into
the. tra p of wedlock.
Now the ladies <>f the present age are
nollo be hilled with,eve n by those they
aie .so desirous of captivating, and al-
though boux; men may think them an
imbecile set , they know enoug h gener-
ally to compass their favorite ends. TIih
fact has been strongly exemplified recent-
ly, in tin; conduct towards th>; bachelors ,
for while tlir; pour solitaiies have been
indulging infancied .security,
and laughing
among th'.
'iiiiclves at the impotent efforts
of lln.
'ir persecutors to depiivv them of
th-.
'ir /icedom, the ladies have secretl y
concerted a pi,hi which ihr atoning with
danger ,the divine institution of celibacy.
Not content with casting the darkest odi-
um upon ilii* sons of liberty , the female*
comiri.inity Invi; resolved to pursue them
to lh<: |
;»>t ccifemily, aijd actually to force
till-in lo abuSiili the comfortable syslum
of I
'a'li' l¦lihiii. lor the accomp lish-
ment of this purpose it is whi-j ,)(;n
.
'd thai
the f.iir creatures an; organi/.iong ihi-m-
sel ves into anti-)iac)i<:loricsocieties ,
whose
ob'ect it will be to disCOUtUgc ill*.
' Jj IoWlll
of |}eii(Ji]iclj| by i-vt'iy po.s-.ibhi meair:,
.iiid tu y^U-'j^uiuatc those who already in-
fcil »oci«l
j^c
.
Ii\ ofWP'jo attain these ej:d«j the ml-
ins1; obj ect will be,to unite die cause t"
(hat of one of thegrcnt political pnrlies ol
the- country, nnd to intioihice it us the
leading qiiestinn of public policy in tin*
national councils. Moreover it" is deter-
mined that as soon as n majority shall be
obt ained in Congress ,u law shall be pas-
sed inflictingthe penally of two wives on
all men alun e the iige of thirty who d.>
not enter into the. bonds of matrimony.—
In case,however ,that this wild enactmen t
does not product; the desired etVcct in e-
nuliciuing: the evil, i\ (ax of some $W0 on
bachelors,is to be levied for the, support
of those unfortunate damsels so mticlivil-
lied under (ho epithet of old maids.
It isdiliicult to believe thai the Indies
ca n so far forget the delicacy of their sex,
as lo attem pt such tyrannic measures, and
not a few ofthe.ircontemp lated victims—
good easy souls !—actually discredit the
whole story. They imagine that the
women instead of pursuing such a .sanguin-
ary plan,intend to reform the bacheloric.
department by thu solo force of tlieir
charms ,and that the system will com-
mence m tin; next bachelor's ball,on the
part of n great number of fascinating
damsels ,who nn; resolved not lo leave
that festival till they have charmed all
the poor Benedicts present, into rutionul
linings—i. e. maiied men. But this w '
^
ll
not be the case. The ladies are wcai)
of such (pR'Stionuble policy. They dis
dain all halfway measures. They think
i
l high t ime to wear tin; public breeches,
nnd anti-celibacy is the hobby on which
they think to tramp le on the. liberties o(
lliemen,and cantor into public power.
Already is tho outrageous project m
successful operation. All the newspa-
pers from Maine to Georgia,whose edi-
tors are inuler peUicoiU Kovcrmnimt , givo
tokens of their co-operation. U ia said
that a new paper is lo be established thin
winter in Wasiriugton-T-uiui printed in
t he form ofa petticoat ,will be conducted
by M rs. Royal,with » view to the dis-
semination of the principles ol' muti imony,
domestic manufactures,and internal im-
provements. The parsons have. unnn"i-.
motisly sijjnilie.il their acquiescence in tin.
'
female camp. It was first intended that
the affair should be conducted aub roaa
unt il a favorable time for a grand move-
ment in ('ongn.'SN—but luckily for the vo-
taries of single blessedness,ills plot hua
been reveale d.
To be convinced of (his,it jso nly no-
ccssar y to refer to the recent conduct ol
one of the western governors (Pof)e.)who
hav ing been remiosled lo slriko the first
blow in (he.great cause , delivered a pub-
lic speech against the poor bachelors—
full of invective and unremilled sarcasm,
an d gave a villauons toast ,which declares
ih nn ' worse than infidels,and with to
mu.ic in their souls.' Tho bachelor.1
w ith one voice pronounced his excellency
a lunatic-—wh ich was doubtless the fuel
—but notwithstanding this, his speech
and toiist , although of a most inHulling
character , and calculated to arouse ihe
iie of all true lovers of freedom and peace
was rea d will) utiuuuiide.d applause ty
t he whole female public,nnd nt thffircom-
mand triump hantly published by nil the
marr ied editors throughout the United
Slates.
Noth ing can Ik? imagined more truly
ridiculous and conlnmptible than tho h-
foresaid conduct of ihe western governor.
He comes Uirwnnl ( n the public canvass,
ihe obedient tool of the ladies for thn(
purpose of pciKccuiiiig n race of chnp»
who have never been f,
"'ilty of any enor-
mity except ihat of pi -('fening a bottle fublcd fox that
lost his tail,he h desiro us to persuade
others into lite,same trap. H
is phillipif
which from (he Klylc and »l'?irit,
must huvt
been written by joint*damt V*l of the north-
west is evidently the first t »f a scries of
piccoiiceilcd public 4Cl»,co Otcmplutcd t< •
abolish »i/>gle life. Others ^tW*""^
' '
low ,and i
l is saidby thV x \iM e> »
.b.._«,,¦.«w« 4*5S^
twin topic in ilus o^
riv
,
,
obi
e #k
Io convince tli • •
which thii Hiiti-bachei
thei r opposition to these .
conclude this earnest expose*
following coj iy of the proceedings ol *..
of their nrrejit ward meetings. 1
) is u
melancho ly indication of the degeneracy
of t in;n»e.
At a l.ug" and faihiojiabJe .flatting of
tin.' inteiesiing unuiaricd Indie* of all ages
above twe/uy- fiv**,held Friday evening,
Dec. :i , 1S''O,Miss Tabniha Towwr wa»
ca lled t" the rocking rhaiij and Miss Su-
smna ViXfldifS'FSp'puin'U'il ntcretury.—
'liiuiufctinx wiiii Mum; d/lticnlty,having
f f' imim 'n. 1 un I'h I 'llumn , Uid ywjt }
OZ.D BACHELORS.